This is my story in simple, honest and short form — not to “inspire” you, but to show how a messy, overwhelmed life can slowly be rebuilt with just a few key habits.
Below is a compact timeline of my life, followed by the lessons it offers for busy entrepreneurs, parents, and anyone who feels stuck or ashamed of their “messy” path.
For a long time, I tried to “fix” everything at once — business, health, relationships — and failed again and again. Only in the last few years did I realize that rebuilding doesn’t start with hustle or victory stories. It starts with facing the chaos honestly, accepting slow progress, and finding peace in daily micro‑habits that keep the body and mind stable.
Before I turned 7, life already taught me about fragility: a serious car accident, bullying at school, the loss of a PE teacher, and the absence of my father. Those moments shaped my need for independence and my deep sensitivity to life’s instability.
My Life in Dates (Short Timeline)
- 1997–2001: Lived in my favorite small city, met my best friend (now in Finland), and stayed with my mom until she moved to Finland with my sister (I was born and living in Estonia).
- 2002–2003: Lived with my dad for two years, went to high school (ages 11–12), and started working young. Around 2003 I began studying civil engineering but never finished.
- 2006–2007: Bought my first house and had my first girlfriend, who was a few years older.
- 2007–2008: Met my now‑ex‑wife. We worked together for years; she was about ten years older, and I now see I was looking for a kind of new mom figure, not a clear‑eyed partner.
- 2009: Kidney surgery — born with one functioning kidney and doctors said it could have killed me. This experience deeply changed my view on health and mortality.
- 2012: Bought a new house.
- 2013: Got married.
- 2014: Our child was born (a planned pregnancy). Just weeks before her birth, I caught an intestinal virus after an Olympic‑distance triathlon and took two antibiotics that badly damaged my gut.
- 2017: Our marriage deteriorated. I wasn’t happy, but I felt scared because my ex‑wife talked about lawyers. Before this time, I had my wisdom teeth removed; one was in a bad position, possibly could have making pain and stress worse to nervous system because I decided to remove all 4 as I needed to “go to sleep” anyway for the operation.
- 2018: We separated and later divorced.
- 2018–2019: Homeless for 11 months. One week after losing my home, I was diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis (RA). I survived doing food deliveries seven days a week, sleeping wherever I could. I still paid child support.
- 2020: COVID hit and I had no work and no money.
- 2021: Met my current partner, who was also living in Milan. She’s a few years younger. I feel she “saved me”. I also had COVID about five times and never took a jab.
- October 31, 2021: Last time I saw my child.
- March 12, 2022: Fully burned out, couldn’t work anymore. Tried therapy a few times but felt I wasn’t able to be a dad.
- 2022: Moved to the Netherlands for my partners job, but we didn’t like anything there. Could write a separate article 😀
- 2023: My grandmother died very quickly from cancer. Around the same time, money and work were extremely low again.
- Late 2023: Moved to Zurich for her job.
- End of 2023 – early 2024: Contacted social services.
- Summer 2025: After years of stress and poor sleep, severe inflammation and leaky gut made walking difficult. One day an ambulance came during a panic attack. The paramedics were kind and suggested eye‑movement therapy — that process later released deep, buried emotions.
- January 2026: Court decision allowed me to see my child freely starting January 2027, once per month (every four weeks).
- 2026: Now, things are slowly getting better.
- March 21, 2026: Listened at night to audio meditation and self‑hypnosis to fall asleep; it felt like a small but meaningful step back toward myself.
- Last two weeks (end of March 2026): Sleep is poor again due to worry about changing houses, seeing my child, money, work, and waiting for support. The first nights after seeing her, I cried a lot.
- Now: Trying to rebuild through a few simple habits instead of chasing perfection. Seeing my daughter again reminded me why recovery matters — not achievement, but presence, calm, and being able to stay connected.
What You Can Learn From This
If you’re a busy entrepreneur, freelancer, or parent, this story isn’t unique — it’s just honest. Here’s what I learned:
- Burnout builds slowly. I kept “working and surviving” while my body, relationships, and mental health crumbled. Awareness came only when I couldn’t walk anymore.
- Gut and joints are stress‑linked. Years of antibiotics, viral illness, and emotional tension contributed to RA, leaky gut, and anxiety — a pattern you can catch early.
- Sleep and breathing are the first levers. When bigger plans fail, the fastest recovery starts with sleep and a simple breathing practice (5‑second in / 5‑second out, 20 minutes daily).
- Small systems beat big promises. You don’t need to scale three businesses or run marathons to rebuild. One or two solid micro‑routines in health, rest, and focus are enough.
Every physical symptom was a message — the body always remembers what the mind tries to forget.
If you feel stuck, ashamed, or “behind” because your life is messy, this is proof that you can rebuild — not in one heroic move, but with small, honest, 80/20 habits that fit your real, imperfect reality.
Will want to try eye‑movement therapy that should release a lot of buried emotion and trauma that also trigger panic attacks that I now have learned to manage. Also will try trauma therapy and will start to do yoga again.
Today I’m not “fixed,” but I’m steadier. Each month feels like a test — can I sleep, breathe, and stay calm through uncertainty? That’s the real healing. My goal now is integration: body, emotions, fatherhood, and peace — slow, steady recovery, one day at a time.
My goal with sharing this is simple: to normalize imperfection, to show that failure and rebuilding can happen many times in one lifetime, and that health, calm, and fatherhood can slowly return when we stop pretending and stay honest with ourselves.
Maybe my next chapter isn’t about achievement — but about integration: blending my physical healing, emotional clarity, and the wish to live peacefully again, one small consistent step at a time.